Saturday, December 02, 2006
remember spamming wack L-kicks at the amphi theatre
and the time at revolution concert, where we did our 1st wacked concert. we cldnt do shit.
but dose were the best times. or so i remember.
sometimes i wonder what i bboy for. yea i see this bboy better den me, i get motivated to trash his ass, and i do it. den wad? move on to improving to beating the next level. training for competitions, training for battles. training to be dope.
what about training for the sake of training. doing what i feel like, with no stress, just for fun, bboying for the pure love of it. and stopping when the shitty feeling kicks in.
so where does the balance between discipline n love of dancing stick in? ive always been q a disciplined bboy. forced myself to learn tops, on my own, even tough i hated the shit out of it at 1st. forced sessions wid yh, when we were freaking tired, but just forced ourselves to do 108927321047 and a half powermoves, thinking we wld be able to do better on a good day.
how abt dancing for the Lord? sumtimes i hav no idea what that means. does it mean You Lord are in front of me, n im dancing lyk a peformance for u? what should i be keeping in mind? sonic fest seems so far behind n i cant remember. yea so frankly, i have no freakin idea how i should be dancing for my God.
these year, stress of competitions kicked in, stress from ourselves to beat others. stress was good. we improved well. but am i happy? no. i feel lyk im dancing for all the wrong reasons. i liked doing a million l-kicks 2 years ago better. i want to stop dancing for the sake of beating others, or to do well in a competition. i want to come to sessions not out of discipline, but out of love for bboying. darn, n SIU is in 7 days time. i duno wad im thinking liao. gona kill myself again
